


Talk About A Bad Day

by BlackHunter666



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Artifact Antics, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-26
Updated: 2015-01-26
Packaged: 2018-03-09 04:21:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3236066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackHunter666/pseuds/BlackHunter666
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rodney's found another ancient device but this time, it creates some unusual reactions once he brings it home to Atlantis</p>
            </blockquote>





	Talk About A Bad Day

McKay kept one eye on the energy detector in his hand as the team walked across the flat, lifeless plains around the gate.  
'Why are we here, it's clear that there is no one living here?' Ronon asked again, gazing across the sands again.  
'McKay found a strange energy reading, it might be important.' Sheppard replied with a sigh and a shrug.  
'Ah, found it.' McKay broke in, kneeling and digging in the sand. Sheppard rolled his eyes as he joined McKay with the dig, shovelling the sand away from the hole they were digging.

With a triumphant cry, McKay lifted out a small, cylindrical device, roughly eighteen inches in length and five inches in diameter. There was line after line of strange glyphs around the device.  
'Any idea what it does?' Ronon asked as McKay and Sheppard rose.  
'Yes, we just dug it up and I know exactly what it does.' McKay replied sarcastically.  
'Come on, we'd better head back so McKay can have a closer look at this thing.' Sheppard added as the group turned and headed back for the gate.

~=~=*+*=~=~

McKay and Zelenka were totally enthralled by the strange device as they studied it.   
'Uh Rodney, perhaps you should have a look at this.' Zelenka suggested, looking up from his tablet, slightly concerned.  
'Yes, what is it?' McKay asked, turning to face the Czech.  
'It would appear that this device is emitting a strange and unknown type of radiation.' Zelenka replied, handing over his tablet. McKay studied the readings carefully before turning back to the device.  
'Right, we need to get out of here and get checked out. We'll come back…' his eyes bugged out as his next words were transferred into deep growls.  
'Can you say that…?' Radek tried to reply, eyes going wide as his voice turned into a rather spooky screech. They stared at each other for a moment before turning and scrambling out the door as fast as they could, heading for the infirmary.

Down in the sparing room, Teyla and Ronon were locked in a training session, giving no thought to the device they had found. As they circled, they felt something strange come over them and Teyla roared, causing the hairs on the back of Ronon's neck to stand up. He stared at her in shock for a moment, the strangest little whimpering sound coming from his throat before he dropped his sticks and bolted from the room on all fours as if the hounds of hell were after him. Teyla dropped onto all fours and raced after him, growling deep in her throat.

Sheppard barely had time to think as Ronon raced towards him, yelping like a kicked puppy. He leapt to the side, flattening himself against the wall. He wasn't sure what disturbed him more, Ronon's yelp or Teyla's deep growl as they ran. Before he could help himself, he barked and took off after them, snarling as he ran, slightly amazed at the speed he had as he ran on all fours.

Back in the lab, Kavanagh was bent over the device, trying to establish what had caused the strange reactions from McKay and Zelenka. He was just about to stand up when he felt a burning sensation in his lower back. He instinctively pressed his hand to the area. With a shocked and highly undignified squeak, he yanked his hand away and peered over his shoulder, eyes going wide behind his glasses. He turned and sprinted for the infirmary, hoping he could make it before it was too late.

~=~=*+*=~=~

Down in the infirmary, Beckett and Keller didn't know what to do when a barn owl shot through the door, screeching as it moved. It was closely followed by a large bear that ran for the door but bounced off and fell, skidding along the floor. It picked itself up with an undignified snort and looked into the infirmary, watching the owl for a moment before turning its attention to Beckett and Keller.  
'Thank god it canna get in here.' Carson breathed, shoulders slumping as he turned away.  
'But what about them?' Keller cried, scrambling onto the nearest bed. Carson spun to look, face falling as a Great Dane bounded towards them, closely followed by a white tiger and a German Shepard. He didn't hesitate as he grabbed the nearest weapon, an aluminium IV stand, and climbed up beside Keller, swallowing nervously.   
'What are we going to do?' she asked, close to panic.  
'Don't panic for a start. Radio for help and hope things don't get out of hand.' Carson replied as the trio barged in and skidded to a stop, looking up at them. Carson froze, staring at them as they watched him, the owl settling nearby to join the group.  
'I don't feel so good.' Keller groaned, swaying slightly. Carson wrapped an arm around her shoulders, still watching the animals gathered in front of him.

Keller broke away from him and jumped down, a loud whinny torn from her throat as she changed, dropping onto all fours and growing taller. Her neck extended and sprouted hair as her face distended in the most terrifying way possible. Carson could do nothing but stare as Dr Keller transformed into an elegant palomino mare, tossing her head as she pranced. 

He jumped down off the bed and moved amongst the group, feeling his instincts changing as he moved until he too fell onto all fours and grew. His head felt like it was going to explode as he shot up, sprouted fur and his face grew and lengthened. Suddenly the pain vanished and he swished his tail as he looked around the room. He saw the animals around him and his flight instinct kicked in, sending his mind into overdrive as he fought to escape.

~=~=*+*=~=~

Lorne and the rest of the marines hurriedly grabbed weapons and thundered down the corridors, racing at top sped for the infirmary. They all froze as they spotted the bear standing near the door. The bear turned to regard them before ambling off, vanishing around the corner.  
'Dr Beckett? Dr Keller?' Lorne called, inching towards the door. He jumped back in an awful hurry, landing in a heap on the floor as two dogs, a white tiger, a barn owl, a palomino and a magnificent stag all shot past him, making a cacophony as they ran. The soldiers swapped looks as they watched the animals go, not quite sure what to make of the situation. Lorne let out a deep roar before taking off after them, running along on all fours quite comfortably. 

~=~=*+*=~=~

McKay was totally aware of what he was doing as his new body ambled along the corridors, sniffing as it moved. Food! His new instincts screamed, navigating by scent alone. Even though the bear was calm and relaxed, McKay was screaming in terror, completely unable to control the animal's mind.

Shepard bounded down the corridors, looking for someone, his nose twitching as he ran. He knew where to go and slipped up the stairs with a happy yelp, tongue hanging out.

Ronon barrelled down a different corridor, happy just to run and explore. He ignored the people that scrambled out of his way as he passed, barking madly as he pushed onwards, ever onwards. 

Teyla screamed at the animal's mind as they stalked toward Carson, happily munching on one of the pot plants in the corridor. Carson's instincts fired off again just as Teyla's pounced and he kicked out, slamming his back feet into the tiger's side, sending her sprawling on the slick floor before he galloped off as fast as he could.

Lorne snarled as he padded down the corridors, the scent of fresh prey making his nose twitch. He spied Keller just coming into the corridor and moved forward, blending in with the shadows easily. Her ears swivelled constantly as he approached. He was almost in range when Teyla raced down the corridor and jumped, sinking her fangs into his rump. Lorne roared in pain and turned his attention to her, giving Keller a chance to escape down a different corridor.

Kavanagh scurried along as fast as his tiny legs could carry him, his animal instinct screaming for a place to hide. He could do nothing but hang on to what tiny bit of control he had and go with it, hoping that there were no predators in the city.

Radek had to admit, it was fun to float over the chaos below him on silent wings as his animal mind hunted for food. He spied a brown and white rat scurrying along the corridor and swooped down on it, snagging it securely in his talons before lifting and going in search of a safe place to eat.

~=~=*+*=~=~

Weir backed up hastily as Sheppard bounded into her office and right up to her, head tilted to the side.   
'What is going on here?' she uttered, glancing over towards the control room, jaw dropping. Before her very eyes, her staff transformed into various animals before vanishing from sight, Sheppard amongst the group. She rose and immediately dropped into all fours, growling deep in her throat as she changed. She only waited a moment once the transformation was complete before running off, hunting.

Katie Brown screamed in terror as a large stag walked into the botany lab and started munching on the nearest plant.  
'Get out! Shoo! Go on now, get out.' she cried, shoving it roughly. It just looked at her for a moment before walking off in search of better feeding grounds. A strange sensation came over her as she watched it leave before she too was caught up in the situation. Her once gentle body was replaced by the great hulking mass of a brown bear and she ambled off down the corridor in search of food.

Dr Heightmeyer screamed in terror as a rather large cougar stalked towards her, sniffing the air with every step. Then, just as she feared the worst, an equally large puma appeared and pounced on the cougar, giving Kate a chance to escape. She ran as fast as she could, even as her body shrank and she fell onto all fours, scurrying along the corridors then stopping, standing on her back feet and looking around. When she was satisfied that the coast was clear, she ran off again.

~=~=*+*=~=~

Miko knew she had to do something as she cowered in her lab, listening to the chaos going on outside the doors. Timidly she rose and left the room, glancing nervously about until she reached the lab where McKay and Zelenka had been working only that morning. Quickly, she unplugged the device before turning and running as fast as she could for the Gateroom.

She skidded into the control room and stared, spotting a chimpanzee sitting on the DHD.  
'Do you know where this came from?' she asked, indicating the device in her hands. The chimp nodded and proceeded to dial the gate, even as she raced down the stairs. 

As soon as contact was established, she threw the device through the gate, looking around as the gate shut down. Before she had a chance to sigh in relief, she dropped to the floor, her transformation taking her extremely fast. The chimp stared out the control room windows at the panda sitting on the floor until he tumbled backwards off the DHD, out for the count.

~=~=*+*=~=~#~=~=*+*=~=~

It was a strange discussion as Weir sat in her office with the eight first victims of the device.  
'So, can anyone tell me which animal they were?' Weir asked, shaking her head slightly.  
'I was the German Shepard.' Sheppard replied sheepishly.  
'I was a puma.' Lorne added, smiling slightly.  
'You tried to eat me, I was the horse.' Keller snapped, arms folded.  
'You're not the only one who almost got eaten. I was a stag and the tiger almost made a meal out of me.' Carson added, shaking slightly.  
'I am dreadfully sorry Dr Beckett; that was me. The kick you launched was rather painful, I must admit.' Teyla replied, head down as she rubbed her side gently.  
'I was the barn owl.' Radek said, shrugging quickly.  
'Canadian black bear.' McKay added with a shrug.  
'I was a dog of some sort, don't know what it was.' Ronon finished, relaxing in his chair.  
'You must have been the Great Dane. So it was you that turned me into a cougar, thanks Sheppard.' Weir replied, glaring at Sheppard.  
'Hey, I had no idea how it was spread. It seemed like a good idea to let you know what was going on though.' Sheppard defended, lifting his hands.  
'Has anyone seen Dr Kavanagh? He was in the lab with the device as well.' McKay asked, not sounding too concerned. Radek froze and turned to look at him.  
'I think I ate him.' he admitted softly with the barest hint of a smile.  
'You what?!' Weir stammered, eyes wide.  
'If I am correct, Dr Kavanagh transformed into a brown and white rat and my owl mind was hungry, so…I ate him. If that is not the case, Atlantis has a rat infestation.' Radek repeated with a shrug.  
'I so do not want to know.' McKay groaned, looking slightly green as Katie, Chuck, Miko and Kate walked in, all looking unnerved.  
'That was the weirdest thing I have ever been through.' Dr Heightmeyer broke in, perching on the arm of Ronon's chair.  
'What animal did you become?' he asked with a tiny smile.  
'A meerkat. You have no idea how big this city is until you're under a foot tall.' she replied with a shrug.  
'At least you got something cute, I was a brown bear.' Katie added, settling down beside Rodney.  
'Hey, I was a bear too, Canadian black to be precise.' Rodney added with a smile.  
'I don't ever want to go through that again.' Chuck groaned, slumping to the floor.  
'I think we can all agree with that sentiment Chuck, this was just too weird.' Weir agreed with a smile.  
'Hey, you try being a chimpanzee having a discussion with Miko turned panda. She's the one who got rid of the device.' he retorted, head in his hands.  
'Is that correct Miko?' Weir asked, turning her attention to the last member of this group.  
'That is correct Dr Weir. When I saw the chimpanzee sitting on the DHD, I guessed it would be Chuck so asked if he remembered where the device had come from. He nodded and dialled the gate and I threw the device back through the gate. My direct contact sped up my transformation into a panda.' Miko replied with a slight smile.  
'If you will excuse me, I think I'm going to be sick.' Zelenka ground out before rising and bolting away, looking extremely green.  
'Don't even ask.' Sheppard broke in, seeing the confusion on the four faces that hadn't heard Radek's confession.  
'This is going to be one hell of a report for the IOA to read. Dismissed everyone.' Weir added, opening her laptop. The group broke apart and walked away, still trying to wrap their minds around what had happened.


End file.
